When an important person in your life confides in you about a traumatic situation, providing support can sometimes be difficult. While it's important to listen and give them space to share their experiences, you also don't want to cross any boundaries or make them feel worse.

This is especially true when someone shares their experience of street harassment with you.

To help you be as supportive as possible, we’ve compiled six ways you can support a person in your life who has experienced street harassment.

Before we begin, it’s important to acknowledge what street harassment is and how it can be different for each person. At It’s Not A Compliment, we define street harassment as any unwanted behaviour directed at someone by a stranger in a public space. This can include acts such as unwanted comments, whistling, leering, sexual and racist remarks, persistent requests for someone’s name or personal information, general intimidation, threats, stalking, indecent exposure or public masturbation, along with more physical acts of violence such as groping and sexual assault.

Often, street harassment involves more than sexism – it can also include racism, classism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism and other forms of structural oppression. 

1. Ask them what they need - for you to listen or for your advice?

Sometimes people want to share, vent and express their thoughts and feelings. Other times, they may want your advice on how they should approach or overcome a situation. When someone expresses that they want to share their experience of street harassment with you, ask them what kind of support that they would like from you - this can range from listening while they speak, to sharing your own experiences, to giving advice on how to handle similar situations in the future. Communication is key to ensuring a safe space for sharing stories, feelings and experiences.

2. Remind them that what happened is not their fault

In a world where victim-blaming is ingrained in society, it is easy to feel shame, guilt or to blame ourselves when we experience something traumatic. Many people ponder why catcalling happens, then blame the person who experienced it, rather than the perpetrator.  Remind the important person in your life that what they experienced, what they feel, and their response to their street harassment experience are all valid and the experience was not their fault. Even if they already know this, reinforcing the message can help them shift their perspective and mindset.

3. Check in on them periodically

After sharing their story, the important person in your life may feel better, or could possibly feel worse. It’s a good idea to check in with them periodically, and it’s up to you to gauge how often you should do so. A simple message like “Hey, how are you feeling?” or “Just checking in - here for support if you need!” can be great reminders for your important person that they are not alone.

4. Thank them for sharing their story and don’t breach their trust

For many people, it is difficult to share a traumatic experience. There is a level of trust that is established when stories about street harassment are shared. It’s a good idea to tell your important person that you appreciate them coming to you for support, and remind them that you will not share their experience with others without their permission.

5. Encourage them to check out anti-street harassment organisations and groups

Social media, and the internet in general, are great ways to find a community that understands what being harassed in public feels and looks like. There are some amazing communities out there that focus on advocacy and creating a better world for all - check out our allies or learn more about our work at INAC. 

Additionally, inform your loved one that if they feel comfortable to do so, they can anonymously share their story with us and help contribute to the street justice fight by raising awareness. At INAC, the stories of our community are the foundation of our advocacy work.

6. Take care of yourself

Check in with yourself. Supporting someone else through their trauma and street harassment experiences can be emotionally and mentally taxing. It is vital to honour your own boundaries and make them known to your loved ones. The important people in your life should understand that while you are willing to support them, you also must take care of yourself and fill up your own cup — whatever that looks like to you.

At the end of the day, don’t overthink it. Show up for your loved ones, listen, and make your support for them clear. When we share our stories and experiences of street harassment, we spread awareness and make important strides to achieving street justice for all.

To learn more and be a better ally, check out our toolkit on 10 steps you can take to address street harassment. It provides a broader approach to ending street harassment, from being an active bystander to organising a community audit! If you would like to anonymously share your story of street harassment with us, click here.