It's Not A Compliment: 2 Years On
A photograph of Aakanksha. She is smiling at the camera and her hair is dyed red at the tips. She is wearing a black shirt.
By Aakanksha Manjunathaswamy, CEO and Co-Founder, It’s Not A Compliment
Trigger warning: Mentions of violence, sexual abuse and bullying.
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
– Rosa Parks.
Over two decades of domestic violence. Check.
Child sexual abuse. Check.
Being bullied for most of my school years. Check.
Being sexualised by random men on the streets as early as eight-years-old. Check.
As a child, my only goal was to survive. To get by each day, praying that nothing would go wrong at home or at school. I remember feeling so powerless in all aspects of my life. Then it started happening on the streets too. Hitting puberty only accelerated the leering, wolf-whistling, catcalling and sometimes even groping from strange men. I felt powerless in yet another space.
Fast forward to my mid-twenties by which time I had worked on a range of social issues across the world. I was fresh out of graduate school and looking to carve a niche for myself in the not-for-profit space by working on causes I felt strongly about. In the process of finding that cause, as part of Democracy in Colour and Cohealth’s Create Change Fellowship for Young POC, we were supposed to do a small practical task to help cement our learnings from the fellowship workshops. My co-founder and I decided to narrow our focus on the everyday.
Street harassment came up right away.
We posed a question to our social circles to get their thoughts on the issue. That was when we realised that street harassment was an everyday occurrence for many. Regardless of their gender, sexuality or racial identity — anyone that could in some way be coded as ‘other’ had a story to share about a time a stranger had made them feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a public space. And we were determined to share them.
It’s Not A Compliment (INAC) is my way of helping anyone who has ever been made to feel uncomfortable in a public space reclaim their power.
Since then, we’ve grown into an organisation where every single one of us is fiercely passionate and united in our belief that no one should have to feel unsafe, or less than, for simply existing in public.
Two years on from co-founding INAC I have learned much, both as a co-founder and as an activist. I’d like to share some of my top learnings in no particular order:
Sharing your story is a powerful act. For you, it’s a chance to reclaim your narrative, to find closure, to express yourself, overcome fear and heal. It is powerful for someone reading your story because it helps them realise they aren’t alone in their experiences. It raises awareness about the challenges faced by people different from us, but still ties us together by the simple fact that we are human. As humans, when we share stories, we deepen the human connection.
Speaking for, rather than elevating the voices of those facing/have faced the issue first hand, will only exacerbate existing inequalities.
There will always be someone who will tell you that you should give up, especially people with a lot of privilege.
A movement that wants to create genuine change needs to be intersectional.
The capacity of grassroots movements and organisations to create change should not be underestimated.
Work environments that are truly inclusive and diverse to the point where they are woven into the very fabric of the organisation are possible.
If we don’t try, we have already lost. We aren’t going to solve street harassment in a day or maybe even our lifetimes. But doing nothing about it and expecting things to change is like voting in elections without doing your research, and then complaining about the political landscape.
Change is a slow and sometimes painful process, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t achievable.
And most importantly, it’s a journey: mine, ours and yours to create a just and equitable society. We always go further when we go together.
Two whole years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears but we are just getting started with no signs of giving up. In fact, this is only the beginning and we hope you’ll join us in our fight to make streets safer for everyone, because we all deserve to enjoy public spaces free of the fear of harassment.
———————————————————-
Aakanksha is the CEO and Co-Founder of It’s Not A Compliment. She is also a campaigner, organiser, activist and lived experience advocate and has years of experience in the grassroots and not-for-profit spaces. Aakanksha graduated from Leiden University with a Bachelor of Arts, International/Global Studies. She did her Masters at New York University as well as the University of Melbourne.