It's Not A Compliment

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Khadija Gbla on Street Harassment: 'The cycle of violence starts with disrespect'

To end our 16 days of activism against gender-based violence and mark International Human Rights Day, renowned human rights activist Khadija Gbla shares with us her experiences of street harassment and why she believes that tackling this issue is an important step in the fight against gender-based violence.

If I had a dollar for every time a strange man leered at me, wolf whistled, honked their horn or felt the need to catcall me while with a group of men, I could retire. 

I have been subjected to street harassment walking past construction sites, in car parks and at shopping centres. I even had a man follow me to my car when I tried to ignore him screaming at me to give him my number. When I refused he called me a ‘fat cow.’ 

I certainly did not take his advances as a compliment; not only was I scared out of mind at the time, the incident has stayed with me, which is why I am always cautious when I am out late or by myself.

If you ask any woman, they can tell you about a time they have been harassed or felt threatened by a man. Like me, in order to feel safe, while walking to their car women clutch their keys to use as a weapon in case of an attack or pretend to be on the phone talking loudly about meeting someone shortly. These are the measures women take because the threat is very real, and it happens every single day.

Because women of colour and women with disabilities are hyper visible, the threat of being subjected to this kind of violence is even greater. I think back on all of stories where Muslim women have had their headscarfs forcibly removed while catching the train or walking down the street.

Not that long ago I was called a racist and sexist profanity when I was at the supermarket to get milk. I was so affronted and in shock that I forgot about the milk and went home to process what had happened.

The sad thing is that no one said anything; they either looked at me in pity or awkwardly looked away.

Condoning and justifying this kind of behaviour is extremely problematic and it is one of the drivers of violence against women.

If we justify this behaviour either with silence or by simply laughing it off as ‘boys being boys’ when men whistle at women walking past, that is based on the view that it is acceptable for men to use violence. 

People also often shift the blame to the victim – ‘what did she expect wearing that short skirt or being out that late?’, ‘Some guys are creeps – she should have known better.’

Street harassment, catcalling and leering are all forms of violence against women. We often think of the extremes of violence where women are buried on a weekly basis after being murdered by their current or ex-partner, but why are we getting to the point where women are dying before we look at the cause and stop it from happening in the first place? The cycle of violence against women starts with disrespect. 

The research has consistently found that men who rigidly subscribe to conventional gender roles are more likely to perpetrate violence against women. These men don’t abuse women they respect, just like the men who catcall women on the street think of them more like objects.

Catcalling and giving women unwanted attention isn’t complimentary – it is a hostile objectification of women in which these men exert power, fear and control. Men expecting that a woman will react positively or ‘give them a smile’ while they belittle and demean them, clearly suggests they think they are entitled to her time, and her body. 

Street harassment is the face of everyday sexism and it is a part of the spectrum of violence against women. We should not minimise its impact as a harmless advance or excuse a man’s behaviour because he’s fulfilling ‘his innate urges’ – and we need to join the dots between them and ‘do something’ when we see it happen.

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Khadija Gbla is the Director of Ending Female Genital Mutilation Australia and Our Watch ambassador. As part of their 16 Days of Activism campaign, Our Watch has launched their Doing Nothing Does Harm campaign that aims to motivate bystanders to do something when they see or hear disrespect towards women. Find out how you can get involved here.